A few things you should know about me before signing up
I am certainly not everyone’s cup of tea, and as such, I will need to make a few confessions in order to ensure that nobody who will find it tempting to join this website will feel coaxed in or uninformed once certain controversial opinions of mine will come to light. However, let’s start with some of the basics.
There are many words that I keep avoiding in this life, and one of them is my name. The first time someone important asked me for my name to evaluate whether or not I had reached the normal level of intelligence for my age, I refused to answer, but simply looked at my evaluator funny, sifting my weight from heels to toes and back again. My aunt, who was accompanying me to this evaluation, got nervous and blurted out my name reminding me that I did, in fact, know my name. I looked at my evaluator, and said: “Stupid name, isn’t it?”
Riina Jenni Annukka Rinkineva. That is my stupid name in all of its glory. I hated it then and I hate it to this day. I’ve used so many variations of it over the years, and one completely different online nickname, Sebastyne for so long that I don’t think I have two friends who know me by the same name. However. Sebastyne, Sebby, Fieldi, Tiuti, Riina, Jenni, and Jen have all been used at one time or another by one person or another in one context or another. I finally settled on a name, though, one of those bolt-out-of-the-blue moments; Alpha. A gorilla spirit guide named The Primary, The Supreme, The King, feels insulted, though. :p Curiously, the only one of my guides who has actually been able to tell me his name. Powerful.
I am a Finnish expat in Australia, Tasmania. I am 24 years old and was born in 1976, and have received most of my formal education in Finland. Upon finding that I needed to somehow kick my own life to a higher gear, find a passion of some sort, so I got a life coaching certification online, a certificate that left me less than confident that I can do my job properly, and as a result, I embarked on independent studies to the field, and wound up rewriting near everything in order to make the goals more coherent and most to the point, adaptable for an individual. While simultaneously learning, teaching, and sorting out my own issues and opening blockages of my own thinking, I wound up with my own theory base and coaching system, and I have been perfecting it for 5 years now. It is now at the point where I can share it with individuals who are independently thinking people who will not shy away from asking questions and taking things further on their own, rather than waiting to be spoon fed from day one until they are satisfied.
I will be taking up topics that are currently considered a taboo. These include pedophilia, rape, and abuse of women, differing perspectives to respect for women, and even the moral aspects of murder and killings. I believe that these matters are FAR MORE COMPLEX than what we are currently being led to believe, including, and not limited to the near obvious conclusion, that SOME CHILDREN are born sexual, while other people never become sexual at all, despite their age. This, clearly, complicates matters, and as we start treating people based on the wrong assumptions, we may cause more harm to the supposed victim than what we do good.
What needs to happen is that the psychiatric care of a child abuse and rape victims needs to change because currently, the idea of care is that “if you think you liked it, you have been brainwashed and there’s something wrong with you until you realize you have been violated” – obviously not phrased with these same words. When the feeling of being violated won’t replace the feeling of being in love and wanting more of what was done to you, the obvious choice to numb that feeling is drinking and doing drugs, feeling “broken” and “inhuman”. It is also more than possible that some people go into drink and drugs just to prove that they were, in fact, properly traumatized by what happened to them, definitely didn’t like it, and aren’t making things up. It is not healthy to dictate on the victims how they should be feeling after the fact, driving them into self-destructive behaviors just to avoid a stigma of a lunatic or a sexual pervert.
The way we now treat sexual trauma, the victims are nearly OBLIGATED to never get over what happened, otherwise, they would feel disrespectful towards other victims or feel like frauds, and also, when the line is so rigidly drawn, so instantly intolerant of all “sexual misconduct”, we force the victims to blow the whistle when they don’t want to, and, as a result, force themselves into the role of a victim even if they do not feel that way. People who voice a differing opinion to the current norm are silenced with: “If this happened to you, and you think it wasn’t that bad, it’s because you were brainwashed” or “if this hasn’t happened to you, you couldn’t possibly know how the victims feel!” In other words, whether you experienced it or did not, you are not qualified to have an opinion in case you disagree with the current beliefs.
Further, as long as we deny the fact that some children are truly sexual, we allow the pedophiles, who know that “children like it” from a personal experience alone, spread the belief among themselves that ALL children are sexual, and therefore open to exploitation. As the topic is such a taboo, it is anyone’s guess who teaches who and with what motivation. (I do believe that pedophiles, as opposed to child molesters, understand that not all children are wired the same way, but without proper conversation, there is a lot of gray area in there that may be harmful particularly among Fluid Thinker predators.) I have gone further still, identifying reasons and markers for non-sexual children who flirt with adults without meaning it to be sexual at all – the same children grow up flirting the same way without meaning to. While I do urge refraining from an actual sexual relationship with a child, I understand that it can be very difficult sometimes to draw that line, particularly without traumatizing the child upon rejecting their genuine advances.
These topics are far from my list of priority but they are included, and even if they do take but a small fraction of my normal topics, these will be the ones that will raise a red flag and label myself and potentially anyone on my website “a paedophile sympathizer” and as such, a potential target to hate action. However, making pedophilia such a taboo only drives the phenomena further underground leaving ALL MEN in a vulnerable position when the situation hits them without them being able to utter a word of it to anyone before the situation gets out of hand with the assumption that all sexual contact between a child and an adult is initiated by the adult when this is not at all true… in addition to a myriad of other issues that you, yourself, can easily pinpoint.
I believe that it is dangerous to base one’s worldview on the false assumption, therefore all truth must be discussed openly, no matter how scary or uncomfortable it might be to do so. Further, I will never claim that members of this blog will endorse my view, in fact, I would expect some to join simply to object and balance the conversation.
A psychic empath, a channel, or a schizophrenic?
And finally, I have received a tentative diagnosis of schizophrenia, and I do not take medication for it because I do not believe the diagnosis is the correct one. I “hear voices” but not the kind that would get me confused about whether it was said in the room I am in, or whether it was a spirit entity that spoke the words – as in a non-present person who spoke right into my consciousness rather than whispers into my ear. The voices are not heard with the ear but I hear the words directly inside my brain.
Although I have had some psychic experiences before 2012, I made these events a daily occurrence by acquiring myself a pendulum, a small tool that will be able to spell messages from the unseen once one learns how to use it properly. It functions similarly to the Ouija board but can be controlled alone, therefore the chances of attracting malicious spirits is slightly lower. As the “psychosis” was started by a rock dangling on a silver chain, I consider anyone who thinks that just dangling a rock off a string can cause a psychosis, insane. You have to believe either in the power of the spirit or truly consider the human mind more fragile than an unboiled egg, to explain why a simple rock could drive anyone insane to the point of schizophrenia.
I do consider myself very strongly psychic, not a psychiatric patient, but there is that consideration to be done for you.
My psychic experiences, prior to 2012 are:
- At little under 3 years of age, I had an obscure sexual fantasy that I can only put down as a past life memory of sorts. It included chains that I thought were ‘erotic’ not even knowing the word or why I would consider them erotic.
- At 4-6 years of age, I felt the presence of Jesus Christ in my bedroom for about a week straight. I don’t know why he wasn’t around before that. I think he left me alone because I was afraid of him rather than comforted by him. (I thought he wanted my rag, and couldn’t convince myself of his good intentions despite knowing who he was. :D )
- At 12, I visited Madam Tussaud’s Wax Museum in London, and upon seeing the guillotine, I freaked out – I had seen that happen to someone I cared about. (Gore and mayhem usually bothered me none, but I was startled by my own reaction more than anything, my aunt who was with me would probably not remember it if asked.)
- At 18, (1994) I received an invitation to join Aerosmith backstage telepathically before the show started by their backstage door guy… I don’t know what they’re called. I didn’t go. (I’ll tell you the full story another time.) I do think the experience was real, the guy at the door was gesturing to me as he spoke into my mind.
- Around the same time, upon opening a very famous fictional novel to read it, I heard a voice inside my head saying “This book is written about you.” I have later concluded it certainly was. At the time, I hadn’t met all the key people in it, but now I can name most of the characters in the book without a shadow of a doubt – and the characters were numerous indeed.
- In 1998 I met my strongest soulmate to that date and got an instant feeling of having known him, and him being the one I’d been searching for my entire life. He was the man related to the memory at the Madam Tussaud’s and also the following;
- In 2001 or so, I experimented with past life recollection and managed to spur up some images that may or may not have been real. (I haven’t managed to map them on a timeline reliably, nor have I really tried, either, but have debunked at least two of them, which I already thought was imagination rather than real.) I hold two of these memories at a higher value than the others, these two were less contrived and more natural, and the other one was reaffirmed by my soulmate who showed me a tattoo he had gotten only two weeks later without me even hissing a word about the memory: He had the text “sentenced to death” tattooed on the back of his neck where the blade of a guillotine would cut through his neck.
Curiously, I always told everyone I didn’t have a psychic bone in my body and mean it, too – only after I deliberately awakened myself, I understood that some of these experiences were profoundly psychic, in addition to the ever-present calm and knowledge that one day I would find my place and that I didn’t need to hurry to get there; the path would be shown.