Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

News: Setting this site up is a setting jungle, should you join now, you might find it a bit of a work in progress, but shoot me a message and I'll fix it.

*

Author Topic: We/I will speak honestly, and I will avoid mincing my words  (Read 68 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Sebastyne

  • The Alpha
  • Administrator
  • *
  • Posts: 18
  • Make a note: +0/-0
  • Gender: Female
    • Straight
    • Solid Thinker
    • Androphile
    • Polyandrist
    • View Profile
    • Sebastyne.net
  • E. Secondary Bond: Polyamorist
  • F. Tertiary Bond: Friend Bonded
  • G. Quaternary Bond: Family Bonded
We/I will speak honestly, and I will avoid mincing my words
« on: April 29, 2017, 12:52:19 PM »
I will no longer, as a personal choice, mince my words or soften the blow of what I mean for people who WOULD and SHOULD understand that I do not like what they are doing, or that I suggest they'd change their way... I will also not hide the fact I will have favorite people, and I will no longer hide the reasons why I, for instance, might ban one person off the forum while there were two people fighting. I find that every time I, or anyone else, minces their words, everything that is left unsaid will be interpreted unfavorably to the person saying it; the people who SHOULD HAVE gotten the message do not, and those who weren't the target of what was being said, thought they were.

I will have privileged user groups on this forum, but I will not mark them specifically. They will work undercover as my mods and my personal friends, so treat each and every member as a potential moderator or a potential friend of mine - don't piss them off because I'll hear of it and they can also cause you a bit of harm if they so choose.

I will also be using a specific tag on this forum to print out YOUR username in texts that mean whoever is reading it, right? So, I need everybody, including Guest, to listen. You, Guest, are NOT exempted from this rule, no matter how much you wish you were. I will make a point out of being as CLEAR in my communication as I possibly can, and I know it will STILL not be clear enough, and that people will abuse this as well; they will take the line that "Ok, that wasn't said directly, therefore it is OK for me to put whatever meaning I wish to the stuff that wasn't said". I hate those ameba-people and I will have no tolerance for deliberate misunderstandings and act dumb in order to test one's boundaries or to test other's patience like a 5-year old tests their parent's patience. You are ALL, including Guest, expected to act like adults, and if that is too much to ask, I will not hesitate to change your user group so that you will be only admitted to the juvenile section should I ever start one.

I will have no tolerance for flower-hat bullying, which means that if you play the victim, I'll make you one, so don't fucking test me, Guest. I will also have little tolerance for people who deliberately pick a fight only to prove themselves "brave" and how they are "strong" and someone people shouldn't mess with. You cannot win my respect by being an asshole or a bitch. Now, this doesn't mean that a strong debate isn't tolerated, but it means that if you are either incapable of an intelligent argument or unwilling to have one, ignoring other's pleas for more information, a direct question or whatever to end the confusion and drama, and if you simply don't get it in the time that I expect my people to fucking GET things, I will again not hesitate from clearing this space from your presence. (That means a ban, and by the way, I NEVER reverse bans. It is a one mistake policy.)

Having said that, I am a very tolerant person, but I am no flower hat. Which means that whenever people are having a good laugh they're free to say or do whatever they like, really. But I DO EXPECT people to know when a joke is no longer a joke but an insult, and I also expect people to know that when you are just making a big deal about "your hurt feelings" so if you get your "feelings hurt" here, it's best you don't come back, you know, because things are not going to change much. Having said that, I know some of you will now take this as a permission to DELIBERATELY try and hurt other's feelings, to prove that THEY have the BALLZ to handle this kind of an environment, but no. That shit won't fly either.

So. Here's the thing:

- We say what we mean and mean what we say.
- We act like grown ups, and if you get banned you know you didn't quite qualify.
- There is a balance point and your responsibility is to either know you know the balance point or figure it out.
- A person's experience is their experience, their personality is their personality, their beliefs are their beliefs, and all of that will be respected under the condition they show the same level of acceptance and respect towards others.

No brats will be tolerated, and I will also remove all people who I identify as people who are just waiting to become a HUGE problem on this forum... Previously, when I've administrated discussion forums, I've avoided banning people who I get "a vibe" from, but now, I won't ignore that feeling anymore, because that requires someone to get hurt before I can ban that person. However, I might be a little more tolerant of some behaviors than I've been in the past, knowing how people latch onto strong characters, and how they may take help that is offered with no strings attached as a sign of love and care and further friendship... Only to discover this person didn't intend it as an offering of lifelong friendship, which, then, makes them fly off the handle becaus they felt "deceived". HOWEVER. If I sniff the kind of behavior that you offer free help to others in order to make them subservient to you, or to 'overturn' the power on this forum, so that you can run things from the sidelines based on your popularity, you bet your sweet ass I'll be on you and you'll be off this forum. So in other words, making yourself inexpendable in other members eyes as a strategy of becoming the unofficial leader of this forum will not fly. I have NO PROBLEMS banning people like you and making things right again with the existing members. I have done it many times before with NO loss of members and I can do it again. Obviously, popular people are popular by simply the light they carry and the talent and their wit and their general awesomeness, and even if I know that might sometimes sting, I'll just have to suck it up, right?

Now... Further about mincing words. I write life coaching articles on the blog side of things, and I will need to sometimes say things that are slightly offensive or at least something that is not necessarily nice to hear. But along the same lines as above, I feel people will ALWAYS take the levay offered and abuse it no matter what I intend to say because there are people who will do ANYTHING but blame themselves or take a good hard look in the mirror. Those of you who get it would have seen those things mentioned way before already, so hopefully, YOU will not be offended Guest, even if I do mention some things more clearly than I normally would. Also, I hope that you, Guest, understand that I am writing to a whole group of people, and some things are meant for everyone, and some are not. Unfortunately people who understand that tend to sometimes take those things that sound unpleasant to mean someone else entirely, and then, sometimes people who are not guilty of what I write about will fear it's about them while they are unaware of their own behavior... Therefore, the you-tag will become VERY handy, indeed, in some cases, but can't save all situations.

I also ask you, Guest, to keep an eye on me and my texts and point out IF and when I'll fall into the old habit of word-mincing. That habit has cost me the person I've loved the most in my life, and I will HAVE TO learn to say what I mean at all times, no matter what being clear about my intentions may cost me. Better die by the truth than by a misunderstanding.

Cheers,

Sebby

 

On Blorum

Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 48
  • Total Topics: 45
  • Online Today: 7
  • Online Ever: 20
  • (April 28, 2017, 12:26:11 PM)
Users Online
Users: 0
Guests: 9
Total: 9

Change Theme